Commitment

Hello! Welcome to my first blog post at this wonderful little outpost. For the purposes of this blog, I go by Magda Kamenev.

In some ways, I'm already a writer. I've maintained and contributed to blogs. I've submitted non-fiction to a contest and won honorable mention. I have written peer-reviewed articles in professional literature, my thesis is on file at the library of my graduate school, and I contributed a book chapter to a professional anthology.

However, I'm considering launching myself into a new realm - writing fiction. Not just because it's a school assignment, but because I want to get something down on paper, I want to share it with friends, I have a story I want to share with the wider world.

Thus far, I've written a couple of poems, some very short fanfic, a very short story that could be part of a larger original work. Little of it has been seen beyond a small group of friends who have been encouraging. I'm willing to continue.

But the question looms - should I commit to my writing? And if so, how?

I am not prepared to give up my day job. For one, I need it; secondly, I like it; third, I have no idea if I really want to be a "professional" writer. I have no reason to think that I'll be the next Stephen King or Nora Roberts ... or even your successful midlist author of any particular genre who's able to get by.

However, I would like to continue writing, I'd like to be published, I'd even like to get paid for it. I want to tell stories and have those stories bespell and light a fire under others. Whether I have a talent for it, I'm still assessing, but I'm encouraged by the remarks of others. No, the real question is do I have the discipline for it.

Can I organize my house to give me space to write? Right now, there is little to none. I do a lot of my writing while I'm out, on my smart devices. This is being typed on my tablet while I'm out of town, for instance.

Am I willing to reorganize my schedule to devote more time to writing? This would require pulling back, to some extent, from Second Life, which has become an emotional home for me these past few years.

What resources am I willing to acquire and consume to help me become the writer I want to be? And how do I find the ones that will motivate and incite me most effectively?

This post was inspired by that last set of questions. Visiting a dear friend, one who writes and wants to write more, but is likely at the pre-published stage, he told me about a particular resource he's found useful.

Duotrope is a website for writers. Among the wonderful things it does is that it tracks the submissions process and calendar for all sorts of publications - fiction, non-fiction and poetry. Wonderful. And it comes with a free trail - of 7 days. Then, it's $5 a month, or $50 a year to continue.

It's easy to say, "It's just $5, try it out for a month." And let it go for another month. And another. The fear is committing before I'm really ready. Wasting money and effort before ... well, before what?

Actually, the real fear is that I'm just fooling myself and that I'm actually too lazy to become a writer. That if I were really up to going down this path, I would have done it long now.

$5 a month or go home? Commit to the year or GTFrellO? Is it literally time to put my money where my mouth is, and then make my pen follow?

I wonder if, in A Room of One's Own, Virginia Woolf talks about the resolve and will one needs to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard/screen). I feel a bit nakedly exposed here ... letting my ambition show without the surety that I have what it takes to achieve my (somewhat) modest goals.

In writing this - I realize I want to go forward. Step out on faith, as my church aunties used to say. I'm not ready to go home. What my version of a writerly life is, I don't know - but now is the time to start building it. I'm committing.